


My Heart in Ink

by vivilove



Series: Historical AUs [13]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - 1990s, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Jon is 11 and Sansa is 9 at the start, Letters, Pen Pals, Teen Romance, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22268185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivilove/pseuds/vivilove
Summary: Young Sansa Stark begins writing to her older brother's friend Jon after he moves to Dorne to practice her cursive and cheer him up.  Over the course of the years, the two unlikely pen pals bond over their adolescent hurts and develop feelings for one another beyond friendship.When I think about the number of hours we've spent together compared with the number hours we've been apart, it's funny really. That the person who means the most to me in all the world is one I've not spent more than four weeks at a time with since we were just children who barely spoke. How'd you do that? How'd my pen pal become my soul mate?
Relationships: Jon Snow & Sansa Stark, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Series: Historical AUs [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747234
Comments: 267
Kudos: 400
Collections: JonsaValentine2020





	1. Correspondences

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SainTalia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SainTalia/gifts), [dreams_for_spring](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreams_for_spring/gifts), [k0skareeves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/k0skareeves/gifts), [Semperlitluv](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semperlitluv/gifts), [mynameisnoneya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynameisnoneya/gifts), [Amymel86](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amymel86/gifts).



> This is written as a series of letters and it's a bit of an experiment for me. Hopefully, you won't all hate it! There are time skips even during chapters but I think readers can follow it easily enough. 
> 
> I've not set a date on this but assume it's historical enough for cell phones and the internet to be fledgling or nonexistent and for calling long distance to be a big deal but modern enough that the post runs efficiently. 
> 
> Since there can never be enough love being spread around, I'm gifting this to six lovelies- 
> 
> SainTalia, Katharine, Gabriela & Semperlitluv, thank you for all your kind words! 
> 
> Thank you, Lisa, my eternal partner in fangirling, for the lovely poster and your unwavering support. "Til the end of the line, pal."
> 
> And Amy, thank you for reading so many drafts of this (LOL!). You've been so welcoming and kind ever since I first dipped my toe in this fandom over three years ago but I was feeling pretty discouraged several months ago and you've been such a dear brightening my days with your messages, keeping me motivated and sharing your wonderful stories with us all. Thank you :)

* * *

Dear Jon,

This is Sansa Stark. Mother says written correspondence is a good way to practice my cursive writing as well as cheer a person up so I am writing. Are you sad and in need of cheering? I hope not.

Correspondence is a big word and I had to look it up in the dictionary (which is also a big word.) Mother says this is a good way to practice my vocabulary (another one!) and grammar, too.

How are you? What is Dorne like? Do you like your new house? Have you made many friends? Is your father being nice?

Robb is still very glum over you moving away. Arya is, too. She would’ve written but she’s only seven and she says writing is boring.

I thought I might tell you about Ghost if you don’t mind. I know you must miss him as much as he misses you but he is doing well here with our dogs. Lady sleeps by his side every night which is funny since I don’t remember those two ever playing together when you would bring him over. I’ll send you a picture of him if you want.

Everyone is well here. School is good but I’m still trying to get my gold star stickers for mastering 9, 11 and 12 on my multiplication tables even though I’m supposed to have them memorized by now. I hope you like your new school.

That’s all I can think of to say today and this was a lot to write. I hope my letter could bring some cheer and that my cursive was legible (not a big word but a tricky one to spell.)

Love,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

Thank you for writing. It was nice of you and Mum said I should reply.

Please send the picture of Ghost. ~~Don’t put ribbons on him~~. I’m glad Ghost and Lady are friends. Tell everyone hello from me.

I don’t really like it here. It’s very hot all the time. The house is bigger than our old one but it feels too big some days. School is okay. I’ve made two friends but they’re not Robb. My dad works a lot and he travels too which is better than before.

I’m sure you’ll get your gold star stickers soon. You’re a very good student and your cursive is already neater than mine. Mum found a sheet of dog stickers in some of our old stuff when she was unpacking. I don’t want them but thought you might like them.

Jon

P.S. You can write again if you want to practice your cursive some more.

* * *

Dear Jon,

Today, I had my piano recital and it was amazing and awful at the same time. The older girls played difficult pieces that were beautiful but also sad. I couldn’t enjoy their music though because I was so nervous waiting for my turn. My teacher went by last names and that meant I was nearly last! It was the first time I’d had to perform in front of so many people and not just my family. I felt sick at my stomach and was afraid I’d throw up. Arya said she’d laugh if I did which wasn’t very nice of her.

When it was my turn, I thought of you and what it must’ve been like moving and starting a new school and then trying out for your school’s football team when everyone else there had known each other for ages and I decided I could be brave like you.

Dad said I played brilliantly and I was so relieved when it was done. I only had to fudge my way through one difficult passage. No one seemed to notice as they all clapped.

We had grilled chicken, roasted potatoes and green salad after the recital that my instructor had prepared for everyone. It was like a fancy party with all of us dressed up and the sept was still covered in flowers from Maiden’s Day. Best of all, there were lemon cakes and I must’ve eaten a dozen being so happy that my ordeal was over. (Please, don’t tell Arya but I did throw up later from all the lemon cakes. Only a little though.)

Lady and Ghost are doing well and I can’t believe it’s been nearly a year since you left. I’ll be going to the same school as Robb next year. I wish you would be there, too. I hope you are well and will write when you can.

Love,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

I’m happy your recital went well. I figured it would since you’re always practicing. Maybe I’ll hear you play someday. I'm sorry you got sick after but I'm sure the lemon cakes were hard to resist. 

Our team had its first match and I scored the winning goal! I hadn’t expected to since I usually play back but the opportunity was there and I took it. 

My mother was cheering so loud that I was embarrassed by it but at least my teammates were cheering, too. ~~My father missed it but I don’t~~

Mum took me for ice cream after. I told her I’m not a little kid but ice cream is ice cream, right?

Tell Robb about me scoring. Does he still play? Hug Ghost for me.

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

I knew you would score! I wish I could've watched your match. Robb still plays but he says you were always better than him. I’m not sure if I was supposed to repeat that so please don’t say it to him.

I’ve enclosed a cassette Mother made from my piano recital. Please, don’t feel like you have to listen unless you want to.

All our pictures of you are from when you were little. Could you send me one?

Love,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

You play really well. Mum said she hopes you stick with the piano because you’re very talented. Do you ever think about what you'd like to be when you grow up? I know grownups always ask that stuff but do you really? I want to play football but I'm not good enough to play professionally. Would you play the piano if you could? Whatever I do, I don't think I want to do it here in Dorne. I'd like to live in the North again someday. I'd like to do something where I can help people and I don't have to travel so much ~~and I wouldn't drink all the~~

I’ve enclosed a picture of me like you asked. It’s just one of the team ones we took. I don’t like our uniforms but we’re supposed to get black ones next year. ~~Don’t laugh at my braces~~ Can I have one of ~~you~~ all of you?

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

I can't say I've thought too hard about what I want to be. Mother says piano is a lovely hobby but I don't know what I'd do with it for a job unless I taught piano like Mrs. Mordane. I’d like to see lots of places someday but I do love home. Maybe I'd like to help people, too. 

I like the picture of you. ~~You're cuter than I~~ Thank you for sending it. I hope you like the pictures I've enclosed. I couldn't choose just one so I sent one of all of us and one of me with Lady and Ghost. I must've put the heart sticker on the back of it by mistake.

Love,

Sansa

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone thinks I've started a new WIP, this is 90% done and I'll update each day so it should be complete by Monday.


	2. Confidantes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Dorne, things aren’t going well at home and Sansa faces some difficulties of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for brief mention of unwanted touching this chapter. Also, a parent's alcoholism with hints of domestic/child abuse will be implied/referenced a little more. 
> 
> There will be letters to/from other characters starting this chapter.

Dear Jon,

Sansa says you’ve been sad lately and that things aren’t good at home. Do you want to come live with us instead?

Arya

P.S. Why are you writing to Sansa? You were my friend first. Are you in love with her?

**

Dear Arya,

Thank you for writing. You’ll always be my friend. You’re like a little sister to me. I hope you’re well.

Sansa’s worrying too much. Everything is fine.

I'm not in love with her. I have a girl here I like. Sansa and I are just pen pals.

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

~~Are you mad at me~~ How are you? I hope you’re well. Ghost sends his love.

I'm sorry to whine knowing how things have been lately for you but I'm not enjoying school this term as I’d hoped. Jeyne and I have been fighting and aren’t speaking. It’s such a stupid fight, too. ~~Boys are not worth~~

It’s been extremely rainy here lately and it fits my mood perfectly but I miss the snow we normally have this time of year. I turned 13 the other day. ~~I suppose you forgot my birthday~~

I’m taller than Robb for now which he hates. I'm taller than lots of boys and for some reason they like to make fun of me for it. Mother says I’m ~~blossoming~~ becoming a young woman but I don’t feel like it. I only feel gross, awkward and out of sorts.

I have your picture on my dresser. Have I told you that before? 

Arya says you have a girlfriend now. Is she pretty? ~~Do you lo~~

You’ve not replied to my last three letters and I’m not sure what to think. Are you just busy or are you upset with me? Do you want me to stop writing to you?

Your Pen Pal,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

I’m sorry for not writing sooner. To be honest, things are bad here, worse than the last time I wrote. I feel so angry some days ~~when I'm not feeling afraid. They fight every night and sometimes~~

I don't have a girlfriend. She's just a girl I sort of liked but she's not my girlfriend or anything. ~~She's not as pretty as~~

It doesn't matter because my father lost his job and says we'll have to move again. We've moved twice in the past year and half already! I don’t want to change schools again. I just became a starter. If I change schools, I won’t even be on my new school’s team.

Please, don't stop writing to me. Your letters are something I look forward to and I'm sorry for ~~being a shit~~ not writing. It's just that I'd rather we keep the things I tell you between us if you don't mind. I was surprised by Arya's letter. I appreciate her concern but maybe I was angry to think about you talking about me when you're there and I'm stuck here. I just don't want anyone worrying. You don't need to worry about me either.

I didn’t mean to miss your birthday. I hope you enjoyed it and there were lots of lemon cakes. Growing up can be hard Mum says and I think she’s right. You’re not remotely gross. Just take my word for it.

How is Ghost? I’ll bet he doesn’t remember me at all. I should surprise him and show up there some day, shouldn’t I?

Have you and Jeyne made up yet? What was the trouble? I think it’s funny that you’re taller than Robb except that probably means you’re taller than me, too. I'd never pick on you for that. Even though I'm a boy, I'll say boys can be idiots.

I’ve not seen any of you in so long. I never hear from Robb anymore. I miss the North, snowfall and Ghost and all of you. I have your picture on my dresser, too.

Your friend,

Jon

* * *

Dear Sansa,

How are you? I've not heard from you lately. Is school alright? Are you busy with your piano lessons and friends?

Things are still not good here. My father still hasn't found a job and he takes it out on us. It's not our fault he drinks too much and sleeps too late to go to his interviews. Mum worries a lot. I hear her pacing at night when she thinks I'm asleep and he's out somewhere.

I hate my new school. I miss my team and football so much. I found a few boys who kick a ball around after classes but none of them are any good. I'm sure that's why they're not on the school team. I've joined them a few times but I don't think they like me. That's okay because I don't like them either.

The cassette tape you sent me from your recital last spring broke. Could you make me another? I listen to it at night ~~to block out~~ to help me fall asleep. I don't care what songs you play. Something pretty is fine.

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

I'm very sorry about your dad's job and things at home. What do you mean he takes it out on you and your mother? Does he say nasty things or yell at you? Where does he go at night if he's not working? I hope you're alright. I can't help worrying about you. It's okay for me to worry about you, isn't it? Because I do. 

I hope you didn't actually tell those boys they weren't any good at football. No one likes to hear that especially from someone they don't really know. Maybe you could help them be better? Or if they're mean to you then they're probably not worth the trouble and maybe you'll make new friends. It makes me so sad to think of you being miserable. 

I'm sorry for not writing lately. Things have been strange here the past month but I did think over your words a good deal. I'm sorry for sharing things about your family with mine that I should've kept between us. I won't betray your confidence again.

Speaking of confidences, I want to share something with you ~~because I don't know who else~~ I'm thinking of quitting piano. My old instructor retired and my new one is odd. I haven't told anyone this because I'm probably being stupid.

I want to tell Jeyne but things are still strained between us because she says Joffrey is rude and awful and she shouldn't say that about my boyfriend, should she? But I suppose he shouldn't be rude to her either. She's my best friend but it's hard to say it when I have to look at her. I guess you're my best friend who isn't right in front of me.

My new piano instructor is a man and at first I thought he was ~~handsome~~ funny. He says I'm very talented and could play professionally and he can help me get noticed. I'm not sure who's supposed to notice me but that's what he says. But he's started putting his hand on my knee when I'm playing and we're sitting on the bench together. I thought he didn't realize he was doing it the first time it happened but he always does it now at every lesson. I didn't know what to make of it or if I should say anything. It's so awkward!

Last week during my lesson, he started rubbing my knee ~~and then he started sliding his hand up my thigh~~. I got up quickly and said I had to use the restroom. I stayed in there until it was time for Mother to pick me up but I didn't tell her. I was so ashamed and I don't understand why he would do that or if I'd done something wrong.

I'm ashamed just writing this and I feel sick at the thoughts of going to my lessons now. I don't know what to do and I'm probably making too much of it. Please, don't tell anyone!

I'm glad you enjoy my playing. I made a new cassette for you that I've enclosed. I borrowed Robb's stereo to record it since his is better than mine.

Love,

Sansa

**

Dear Lyanna,

I cannot begin to thank you enough for calling the other night or Jon for telling you about what Sansa told him in her letter. I know he was probably afraid of sharing something he shouldn't but please tell him that Ned and I think he was very wise and brave to do so.

As a mother, I'm sure you'll understand me when I say I'm trembling as I write this so I apologize if my handwriting is hard to read. My sweet daughter was actually blaming herself for what that wretched man was trying to do. Once we went to her room to talk after your call, she cried so much it broke my heart and I thought I was going to be physically ill. I thought Ned was going to commit murder that night but he didn't. Instead, he's contacted the authorities. There will be an investigation and I'm determined that Mr. Marillion will not only find himself without a single student to teach piano to again, but he'll answer for his actions if it's the last thing I ever do.

I've found a therapist here for Sansa to talk but it appears nothing happened beyond what she shared with Jon, thank the gods. I only hope he wasn't preying on any of his other students.

I hope you are well. We miss having you as neighbors but I'm so glad Sansa and Jon have continued to be pen pals despite the distance. She's so excited every time a letter arrives from him. Take care and give our regards to your husband.

Sincerely,

Catelyn Stark

**

Dear Sansa,

I betrayed your confidence after asking you to keep mine. I'm sorry. Are you angry? Do you hate me? I feel sick at the thoughts of you hating me. But I felt even more sick at the thought of that man touching you. I was worried about you and I had to do something even though I'm far away. ~~I lo~~ I only said something because I care about you.

Jon

P.S. You were right. I was acting like a prat to those boys. They're not completely hopeless and we've been having some fun kicking around after school.

P.P.S. Is Joffrey your boyfriend now? 

**

Dear Jon,

I could never hate you and I'm not angry with you at all.

I'm glad you've made friends with those boys! Are things any better at home? 

I still feel embarrassed about the whole thing but Dr. Seaworth reminds me I'm not to blame for what he did. I've told him a lot about you. I hope you don't mind that. I wanted him to know how much you mean to me and that you're probably the reason nothing more happened than it did. Dad says that sometimes doing the thing a friend doesn't want us to do is more important than what they ask us to do but much harder. Thank you for caring about me that much.

Whether you're far away or right beside me, you'll always be one of my very best friends. I miss you and wish you could visit.

Love,

Sansa

P.S. I guess he's my boyfriend. He said I was his girlfriend but all that seems to mean is I'm supposed to help him with his homework and sit beside him at lunch and listen to him ~~brag and not interrupt.~~ I'd pictured having a boyfriend being different. I'm not sure he'll be my boyfriend for very long. 

* * *

Dear Sansa,

I hate him. Sometimes, I hate her too for putting up with him and following him here. If she'd just divorced him back in Winterfell, I'd still be there.

I wish I were anywhere but here tonight. I can't stand being here and listening to him yelling and her crying anymore. I hate them both. 

Jon

**

Dear Lyanna,

Please, don’t apologize any further regarding Jon. We were delighted to see him and it’s only the circumstances which brought him here that make us unhappy. It’s hard being 15 and we’re just grateful he arrived here safely on the bus after running away. I promise he was no trouble at all and the children were so happy having him here, even Rickon who doesn't really remember him from before but swears he does.

I hope you're alright. Cat and I are praying for you and if you ever need anything, please call. The therapist that Sansa was seeing a couple of months ago is very good with adolescents and, if you'd like to speak with him about a recommendation for someone in Dorne, I'll give you his number.

I know you were very hurt by the unposted letter you found in Jon's room. He's so miserable that you found it and I know he's already told you this but sometimes a parent needs to hear it again. Your son doesn't hate you at all. He loves you very deeply, Lyanna. He's just confused and hurting and Rhaegar is not a good father to him. I suspect he's not a very good husband to you either. You both deserve better.

As we discussed on the telephone, Jon is welcome to come and visit this summer (with permission this time-haha!) if you agree.

Sincerely,

Ned Stark

**

Dear Jon,

Don’t you dare do that again! I was so happy to see you but so freaked out when you finally admitted you’d ran away! What if the bus had crashed and your poor mother never found out you were on it? What if you’d been abducted by some cult?

All the same, I was happy to see you. You look different with your hair longer. I like it. The picture from your old football team seems dated. May I have a newer one?

I overheard Mother and Dad talking about inviting you to spend your summer break here. I hope your mother will agree. I have nothing nice to say about your father after the things you whispered to me that night so I will not speak of him again. I’m sorry though. He shouldn't treat you or your mother that way.

Ghost sends his love and I send mine,

Sansa

P.S. I called Jeyne and we made up after you and I talked that night. Joffrey's not my boyfriend anymore. He isn't speaking to me now and I think that's for the best considering the things he said when I told him we were done. I'm telling myself not to mind it. I think Jeyne was right and that he is quite rude and awful.

**

Dear Sansa,

I can’t say I regret what I did other than the worry I caused you and my mother and any trouble I made for your parents. Seeing everyone helped but especially you. Talking to you that night we stayed up so late meant a lot to me. Your friendship means ~~everything~~ a lot to me. I’m sorry Robb and Arya seemed to make a thing of it and hope they’ve laid off now that I’m back here.

My father left last night and I hope it’s for good although I’m sad for my mother. We’re going to be okay, she says. We’ll be better off without him and I'm going to apply for a part-time job after school to help her. I wish we could move back to Winterfell. I’m stuck here for now anyway but I won't run away again. I can't do that to her again and I don't want to freak you out either-haha. Graduation seems so far off but she says it will fly by. When I think of finishing school, I dream of coming North again to stay. 

Mum called Dr. Seaworth today and they talked for ages and then he wanted to talk to me. I can see why you like him. He seems very nice.

I’m glad you and Jeyne are friends again. I think she's right about him. Joffrey sounds like a complete shit ~~and you deserve to be treated like a princess~~ ~~There's lots of boys who would What did he say to you? Because I know my way up there by bus now and I'll~~ Don't mind him or the things he says at all. You're a wonderful girl and deserve to be treated like a princess.

Hoping to see you this summer,

Jon

P.S. Sorry for all the crossed out parts. I blame my inky pen and shoddy cursive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one was heavier and, while there will be other challenges for these two, there'll be more lightness overall and the romance will begin next chapter. Thank you for reading! ❤️❤️❤️


	3. Commitments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friends become sweethearts and later lovers but distance causes a few difficulties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts a couple of years after the last. Sansa is 15 and Jon is 17 at the beginning but about a year and half will pass during this one. It gets rather angsty towards the end but things will be resolved. 
> 
> Also, I love how many of you have commented on the crossed out bits in the earlier letters but as they are maturing and sharing their true feelings (even when making mistakes) the crossing out comes to an end. And, they both do their fair share of pining in their letters this chapter because I wanted that :)

Dear Jeyne,

Happy 15th Birthday a few days early! I've bought a shell necklace for you which I hope you'll like I'll give it to you when I return to Winterfell. I hope the dogs aren't being too much trouble for you. I miss them and home but I’ve been enjoying our little holiday trip to White Harbor so much and I wish it wouldn’t end.

I’m writing to you rather than sleeping because I have big news! It’s after midnight and I don’t know if I’ll ever sleep again.

JON KISSED ME TONIGHT!!! 

Are you shocked? I didn’t expect it exactly but I won't lie and say I haven't dreamt of it because you know I have!

We were talking like usual and sitting out on the back deck. Normally, we pick a movie to watch before bed but Arya has caught a summer cold and went to bed early and Robb said he was tired after fishing so early with Dad and Jon. And once he went to bed, Jon reached for my hand and said he wanted to ask me something.

Oh gods, Jeyne. My tummy was all full of butterflies and I was nearly queasy with nerves! He was so sweet the way he asked though and I could tell he was nervous, too.

Since obviously this was something important, I suggested a walk on the beach. Just writing it sounds romantic, doesn't it? It really was! I think two pen pals falling in love sounds like a good novel, too. 

Anyway, my heart was pounding so hard as we left the deck and walked through the sand barefoot. I was terrified my parents would come looking for us and spoil the moment but they were still visiting with the Manderlys who have rented the beach house next to ours.

I wish you could see me trying not to squeal as I write this! If I do, Arya will wake up and I know she'll figure me out at once! She's already teased me mercilessly about having a crush on Jon when he's been visiting these past three summers. If she knew, she'd be sure to tell everyone!

Anyway, the moon was out and the waves were crashing and the sea breeze was blowing through his dreamy curls. It was just like a movie! He said the sweetest things-he asked me to be his girl!-and then he leaned forward and kissed me! 

I kissed him back and we wound up kissing so long that all my lip gloss was gone and my lips are swollen! I’m in love, Jeyne! I love Jon and I want everyone to know it!

But he’s worried about what my parents would say about us kissing when he’s staying with us and he’s making a thing out of being two years older and it being his last year at school which I told him was silly. Anyway, I’m so happy and I had to shriek it to someone!

I can’t wait to see you and talk in person except when we come back home it’ll only be a few days until Jon leaves for Dorne again. Jeyne, I don’t think my heart can bear it. What will I do? Oh, why can’t we be older?

Yours Truly,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

I am shrieking with you now that I've opened your letter! I'm completely jealous, too! He's so handsome and sweet. You're lucky but he's lucky, too, because you're such a dear girl! It does sound like something out of a movie or romance novel. 

My birthday was rather dull so I'll be very eager for you to return and tell me every last detail!

Affectionately,

Jeyne

P.S. The dogs are no trouble at all and Lady and Ghost sleep at the foot of my bed next to each other. 

**

Dear Sansa,

I miss you so much it isn’t funny. I've been the worst on the pitch lately. I get distracted thinking of you and my teammates give me hell over it. I deserve it but I don't care. Much as I love football, I'd rather think of the feel of your silky hair and soft lips than the taste of grass, sand or dirt depending on where we practice while sweating buckets in this heat here. I wish I could hear your voice again. I think about you everyday and every night ~~when I’m in bed~~ I’m not sure I can wait another year to see you but writing is something at least.

Mum keeps asking what’s wrong with me. I don’t want to hurt her feelings by saying I’d rather not be home. Otherwise, I'm happy to say that she's happy. It's so weird really. When Dr. Seaworth decided to relocate his practice down here a couple of years ago, the last thing I expected was for him and my mother to hit it off the way they have. She says they're just friends but I'm not a child. Anyway, I just want her to be happy and at least he's a good man who treats her right.

He's been talking to me about my future plans a lot when he comes over for dinner which brings me to something else. With all the moving I’ve done these past six years and general bullshit, my grades aren’t great. And of course, you know my father blew through the little college savings account they had for me before he left. I wish I could make a career out of football like I used to dream about but I won’t fool myself. I’m thinking of joining the Nights Watch before university. Would you hate that? It’s just that they’ll pay your tuition if you serve three years and most colleges are willing to accept men and women who've served even if they’re grades aren’t the best. Also, they let you choose the region you’d like to serve in and I’d choose the North.

Tell me what you think. I want you to be part of my future even if we can't be together just yet. I meant what I said that night in White Harbor and every night after. I love you. 

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

I miss you so much it hurts. I’m still grounded as Dad is still raging about that long-distance bill. It doesn't matter. Other than Jeyne, there's no one I want to spend time with after school here. I feel awful in a way but it was so sweet to hear your voice again so I’ll say it’s worth the punishment.

Arya is quite shocked by how unapologetic I've been. I think she might be firmly in our corner because of it.

My parents smiled when I tried to explain and called it puppy love but I know what I feel. I love you, too. Someday, they’ll see.

For now, they all grumble every time I sit at the piano of late because I know I play the most mournful things. I can't help it. Don't get hurt out there during a match because you're thinking of me though! Piano is a far less hazardous pursuit for pining hearts! 

I’m happy for your mother. Dr. Seaworth is so kind and he just seems like he'd be a very good father-type figure to me. Not that he'll ever be your father but you understand what I mean.

As for the Watch, it frightens me a bit, the thoughts of you serving. I’d worry terribly, I know. Right now though, I'll confess I’m more concerned about them forcing you to cut your beautiful hair-ha ha! I still think about running my fingers through it when we kissed this past summer. Is that silly of me to write that?

I know your mum would be sad if you were far away but I think this choice is yours to make. I’ll support your decision either way.

I do have some good news possibly though. Robb has mentioned wanting to travel to Dorne after graduation. He says he’d like to see it and see you there. If he gets to go, I’m going to beg my parents to let me go, too!

Love Always,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

I’m sorry again for the trouble you got into for calling me that night. I didn’t mean for us to talk so long but once we were talking, I lost track of time as I know you did. I’ve enclosed some money to go towards the bill. Please, give it to your dad and tell him I’m sorry.

Yes, he's not my dad-thank the gods-he's Davos and I like him. Maybe I'll call him Dadvos-ha ha!

It’s not silly at all to write that about your fingers in my hair. I think about those kisses all the time. I think about lots of things when it comes to you that I won’t write in this letter.

I hope they’ll let you come down here with Robb.

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

Mrs. Stark and I know you care deeply for Sansa as she does for you. While I was upset about the phone bill, I can’t have you sending me your hard earned money so I’m returning it. 

You’re both growing up and I’m not blind to it but Sansa will only be sixteen next summer and I can’t permit her to travel to Dorne with just Robb as a chaperone. She’s not speaking to me right now because of it but I think you’ll understand why I’ve made that decision. This doesn’t mean we’re against the two of you being sweethearts.

I hope your mother is well.

Sincerely,

Ned Stark

**

Dear Jon,

I hate them so much! I should run away like you did!

Love,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

No, you don’t hate them and I don’t either. They love you and they’re doing what they think is best. All the same, I’m missing you terribly and it sucks.

Don’t run away! I’d go insane with worry if you did. Riding the bus alone at 15 as a boy was scary. I can't stand the thoughts of my girl doing that. 

I used the money your dad returned and bought something for you instead which I've enclosed. It wasn't terribly expensive and I wish I could've got you something nicer but it made me think of us. 

And just for laughs, if we ran away together, where would we go?

I love you,

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

Thank you for the beautiful necklace! I love that it looks like a sunburst on one side and a snowflake on the other. It's simply perfect for us, isn't it? I'm going to wear it all the time. 

We’d go to somewhere across the Narrow Sea with beaches where we could walk in the sand and hold hands and kiss every night just like in White Harbor except warmer than there. I’d wear nothing but my necklace and bikinis every day and you’d collect seashells for me.

Love,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

I’d gladly collect a million seashells for you especially if I get to see you in a bikini everyday.

Love,

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

NO ONE CAN SEE THESE BUT YOU!

Love,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

Are you trying to kill me??? I was sitting at the kitchen table when I opened your letter and made the most shameful yelping noise when I saw those pictures. Mum was at the stove but thank gods she didn’t see!

You’re so beautiful. I love you so much and now I can’t stop thinking about you.

I know I’m going to piss off my mum but I’m calling you tonight so you’ll hear from me before you get this letter.

Jon

P.S. Don't worry. I'll go ahead and give Mum some of next week's paycheck to cover the expense.

P.P.S. Who took the pictures? I’ll never be able to look Arya in the eye again if you say her.

**

Dear Jon,

Jeyne took them. We were giggling like mad and Robb kept standing outside the door asking what we were doing and that made us giggle even more. She said I was terribly wicked to send them. 

I can't stop thinking about talking to you last week. I'm sitting in study hall blushing as I write remembering the things we said over the phone. And yes, I do think about it, too. I think about it often but only with you.

Love,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

Now you've given me far too much to think about for me to concentrate on my trigonometry homework tonight. Knowing you think about it, about us, gets me worked up all over again. I can't stop looking at those pictures you sent and dreaming about touching you. It makes for a very uncomfortable situation if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I mostly want to write and say that I love you. Even if you can’t come to Dorne this summer with Robb, I’m going to be sure to see you before my enlistment begins.

Jon

* * *

Dear Jeyne,

How are things in Cerwyn? I've missed you so much this summer. I hope your aunt has been taking you lots of fun places.

I'm writing this with a very heavy heart as you may imagine. Tomorrow, Jon will leave for basic training at Castle Black. I won't see him for sixteen to twenty weeks and won't hear from him for twelve weeks anyway. I feel like I'm dying. I know we've gone much longer without seeing each other in the past but this feels so much different not being able to receive his letters.

I'll say this to you alone but I think they're very cruel to deny them letters or calls from home during basic. I'm sure they want them to let go of their pasts and focus on the future but our past is part of who we are just as he's such a part of me. Dad says basic is all about breaking down the boy and building up the man. I don't want them to break him. I love him how he is.

You've been my best friend since we met on the playground at school and played ballerina kittens together all during recess that day. I tell you everything so I'm telling you this. Jon and I made love for the first time yesterday. We were both very nervous as you can imagine and it was over pretty quickly. He got so flustered over that but I told him I didn't care. It didn't really hurt like I'd feared and he was so sweet, Jeyne. I think the first time is something to get behind you in a way but it was special to us and I loved being held by him.

I don't know if you're surprised or not. I told you that I didn't want to wait any longer so I asked him to go to the drugstore and we took the opportunity when everyone was out. I'm going to sneak him into my room again tonight if I can manage it. It's his last night here and I want us to have that memory. And maybe this time we'll not be such novices-haha!

He says he's going to marry me. I wish these three years would just fly by. Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to seeing him in four or five months when he's up for a furlough and I very much look forward to seeing you when you return.

Yours Truly,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

Leaving this morning was by far the hardest thing I've ever done. I almost wish you hadn't come to the train station to see me off because I was certain my heart was breaking watching you cry and wanting to cry with you. I think there must be a hole in my chest right now. I can't believe I won't be able to send you any more letters after this for twelve weeks or receive any of your letters during that time.

The past two weeks with you have been some of the best of my life. I'm not just saying that because of what we did either. I won't pretend I didn't love it but I'm happy just being with you no matter what we do. Please, keep yourself well and enjoy these last two years of school before college. I love you so much and you're an amazing girl who's going to do wonderful things.

Regardless of what happens during my Watch, I hope you know I'll be sitting down every chance I get to send you my heart in ink just like I've been doing for the past seven and half years.

I love you,

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

Just writing that salutation has the tears coming back. Our sweet dogs are getting old but I hugged them both when we returned from the train station just like I said I would. Lady has her head in my lap as I write and Ghost is lying on the bed where you were just last night. I miss you so much already.

I've never cried so hard in my life as I did this morning and I'm sorry for the display. I didn't mean to cause us both more pain at our parting. I couldn't help it. Dad was afraid I was having a fit, I think. I'll be okay though and we'll be okay.

When I think about the number of hours we've spent together compared with the number hours we've been apart, it's funny really. That the person who means the most to me in all the world is one I've not spent more than four weeks at a time with since we were just children who barely spoke. How'd you do that? How'd my pen pal become my soul mate?

I know you won't get to read this for a long time but just know you're in my thoughts constantly and in my heart every second of every day.

Love,

Sansa

* * *

Dear Sansa,

Here I am writing at last and knowing my letter will be sent the same day it’s written! I can’t believe I survived that but I did. It was the roughest twelve weeks of my life but I’ll confess I feel very proud that I made it and am officially a man of the Nights Watch.

We’ve been given the whole weekend free before it’s back to business on Monday and I can’t begin the describe how foreign this strange luxury of not having to be anywhere or do anything feels.

I’ve read all your letters that I was denied until now twice over already and they’ve made smile and laugh and even cry (although I told my mates that there was something in my eyes). My two best mates here, Grenn and Pyp, saw the latest picture you sent of you with Lady and Ghost. They’ve heard about you but once they saw you, they called me the luckiest bastard alive and said they’d just have to hate me from here on. They were teasing of course but I swelled with pride over it and I do feel like the luckiest guy whenever I realize you’re mine.

How are you, my love? How is the school play going? I was so happy to read you'd been cast as the leading lady! I hope I can get furlough to see it.

I’m sorry I didn’t write even half as much as you did. It’s not from lack of wanting to. Hearing about your family and school makes me miss everyone terribly but I am fitting in fairly well so don’t worry.

They did cut my hair and, while I felt stupid asking, I honored your request and asked the barber to give me a locket to send my girl and you'll find it enclosed in the napkin with this letter. He laughed but he wasn’t really mean about it. I don’t really care so long as it makes you happy. I’ll grow it back out again now that basic is done. It’s so cold up here that I may grow a beard, too. Would you hate that?

Not hearing from you has been awful but every night between cleaning the latrines with a toothbrush (because my dick of a drill sergeant hates me apparently) until I would rise before dawn to run five miles, I thought of your and dreamt of you.

You’ve been my greatest comfort when I thought I couldn’t do this. I knew if I washed out you would still love me but I wanted to do this, to prove that I could be good enough. I could picture you cheering me on and that kept me going when things were their worst. I tell myself it’ll be worth every hour we’re apart when this is done and I can go to university and find a good job. I want to be worthy of you, Sansa. I don’t want us to struggle with money the way my parents did. 

Tonight, some of us are going out to celebrate our survival and advancement. Celebrating up here though doesn’t mean much. There’s a couple of restaurants, some bars and a few less reputable places but we're all broke. However, Val was assigned to the officer’s mess so she’s going to flitch some liquor for us and we’ll all probably sit up on what’s left of the old Wall drinking and acting like fools. I promise I won’t fall off.

Love,

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

I’m so proud of you! I knew you would do it! I’ve missed hearing from you so much though. It’s been a comfort to me to write but I’m glad that you finished and I can receive your letters again. I hope to enjoy letters from you more regularly from here on. 

I'm trying to picture you with a beard. I don't think I'd mind it. Thank you for the lock of hair. I've enclosed one of mine since I thought you might like that. But gods, don't drink too much and fall off of anything!

The play is going well and so is school. Podrick and I have been working on our parts after school a good deal. He's very kind and funny and I know you'd like him if you met.

It seems so strange that I've only got about sixteen months left before I graduate. It can't pass quick enough for me. I'd find a job up near you until you finished there if my parents weren't insisting I go to college right after graduation.

I'm afraid this is all I can write today as Jeyne is coming over and we're going to study together. Promise I'll write more tomorrow!

Love,

Sansa

P.S. Who’s Val?

**

Dear Sansa,

Go to college. You'd freeze your ass off up here! (You may smack me for that if you wish but it's a beautiful ass and it'd be a shame for you to freeze.) Thank you for the lock of hair. Grenn and Pyp asked what I was clutching to my chest like gold and they laughed so hard when I showed them. I don't care. They don't have you so I feel sorry for them. 

Val's one of the female recruits that came in with our class. Grenn's known her since they were children. She's quite sarcastic in her humor but nice enough. She's by far the prettiest of the female recruits so I think over half my squad is in love with her including poor Pyp.

I've been granted furlough for the weekend of your play and cannot wait to see my girl!

Love,

Jon

* * *

Dear Jeyne,  


I'm slipping this note in your box because I was afraid of your mother seeing me with my horrible blotchy face and red eyes and asking what was wrong. Please, come over as soon as you can. I think Jon might've broken up with me. I'm not sure actually but he left last night or this morning after we had the most horrible fight.

Why did I ever agree to that play?? I was so happy about getting the lead but you know I was nervous about the kissing scenes. I should've told him but I hesitated to put it in a letter. Why??? I tell him everything in my letters. Why was I so scared to tell him this?

But he reacted so badly and then all my own fears came out about that girl Val up at Castle Black. He'd sent a picture of them all a couple of weeks before this furlough and she's beautiful and she was seated next to him. I just started picturing the worst and knowing I could never be like her and I'll never have experienced the same things they both have.

It was so awful. I literally want to throw up every time I think about that argument and Dad coming in. Please hurry over. I need you!  


Sansa

  
**

Dear Mum,

I don't know what else to do but write to you, childishly hoping you can fix this the way you always tried to fix the bad or at least shield me from it. Except this isn't something being done to me, it's something I've done and I've never been more miserable.

I went to Winterfell for my furlough just like I told you I was planning and wound up making the biggest ass of myself. I was happy to go with the Starks to see Sansa's play but mostly I just wanted to see her and be with her. I only had a 36-hour furlough and the train ride there and back ate up a third of that. Everything was wonderful at first when it was just us at the Starks but then we went to the school.

She was the star as I'd said but the play included her and the male lead kissing on stage far more than I would've expected. Actually, I'd not expected that at all as she hadn't mentioned it in any of her letters. I started thinking about how we're separated for the next 2 and half years and how much she'd mentioned Pod in her letters while I was going through basic and I wound up feeling jealous, meanly convincing myself they'd spent all that time after school together practicing for these scenes.

When we were finally alone last night after the play was over and after everyone else had gone to bed, I said something about it. To be honest, I'd let my anger fester to a boiling point by then. She must've sensed it because she was already bracing for a fight, I think. Basically, I acted like Dad might, like a first class jerk and I don't know how to fix things.

And to make matters worse, when I was ranting like a fool, she started talking about me and Val. There is no me and Val! She brought up me drinking with the others and I got so defensive. I swear I've only been drunk once and I didn't like the way it made me feel but we do drink when we can up here. Is that stupid of me? Will I wind up like Dad? An alcoholic and an asshole and a failure at nearly everything?

Soon, we were both yelling and Mr. Stark stuck his head in and wound up strongly suggesting that I go on to the guestroom they'd made up for me, saying we could speak in the morning when we were calmer. I stared at her not knowing what to say with her father standing there and she started crying. I've never felt so sick in my entire life but I didn't know what to do so I went to the guestroom like Mr. Stark said. I laid there all night feeling angry and ill and wound up leaving for the train station super early this morning before anyone was up. I sat there waiting for my train and wishing I could disappear. I knew I was fucking up walking out like that and now there's no chance for me to see her for another six months at least.

What have I done? Have I ruined everything? 

Jon

**

Dear Sansa,

I just wrote to my mother the most pathetic letter but she's not who I need to talk to the most. It's you. 

I'm a coward and such a fool. I hated myself for every step I took this morning away from you and I've spent my day crying on the train before coming back here to be told I look like hell. I'm not surprised because I'm in hell right now and I think I've ruined things and maybe joining the Watch was a huge mistake when I could’ve just gone to Winterfell and found some job and waited for you to graduate. But then you'll go to college and I'll forever feel like I'm not enough for you. 

I'm so terrified you won't answer this or want to hear from me but here it goes all the same.

You're everything to me and I'm sorry for ruining our precious time together with my stupid jealousy. It was just a play and you were only acting. You didn't deserve it at all. You were brilliant by the way. I was so proud watching you up there. You're beautiful and talented and I'm sorry for losing my mind over some stage kisses. I wasn't showing the proper faith in you and you've never given me cause to doubt you. But more than that, I'm even sorrier for running away. It's something my father would do and I'm not proud of it. I'm the exact opposite of proud actually. I don't want to fuck this up, love. I know we'll make mistakes but I want to get this right more than anything. 

I could never look at another woman the way I look at you. You've been it for me since I ran away from home and to you and we talked nearly all night about anything and everything, from my father to our favorite variety soup for a snowy day. Maybe you were always meant to be it for me but I knew it that night. 

Sansa, I love you so dearly. Are you still my girl? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to be after the way I behaved but I'm still earnestly hoping you'll write me back. Your letters mean the world to me, even more than they did when I was a lonely kid in Dorne. Where would that lonely kid be if you'd never wrote to him? What would have happened to me without the friendship you offered so openly and sweetly? I don't want to think too hard on that because I know the answer would not be a happy one. 

Please, answer this and let me know what you want or what I can do to make things right again. 

Love Always,

Jon

**

Sweetheart,

  
  
I'm sure you've not ruined everything. You're both very young and it's the first real romantic relationship for both of you. I know you say you're going to marry her and I don't doubt you but fights happen even between happy, well-adjusted couples. I can understand why a fight like that would scare you though after the horrible ones you witnessed as a child. Jon, it kills me thinking about the things I put up with and exposed you to by allowing things to go on as long as I did but you and Sansa are not your father and I. You're very good to each other and good for each other, I believe. 

But while you've been apart for so much of these past years, I believe you will be able to work past this. Davos likes to say that relationships are like tea bags and you never know how strong they are until they're in hot water. It may sound corny but I think he's got a good point.

Have faith in each other and talk about these feelings with her. Write to her. Tell her what's in your heart. Apologize for your harsh words and for walking out like that. I think you express yourself fairly well in these written words, sometimes better than you do in person.

And he may be your father but you're not him, sweetheart. Call home, call collect and don't worry about the costs. Talk to me and Davos. We miss your voice and we'll offer whatever comfort we can.  


Love,

  
Mum

**

Dear Jon,

I was so scared when you left that way and then angry afterwards. There's both a heartbroken letter and a furious one sitting unposted on my dresser. I think I'll tear them up and just send this one instead because I know you. I know what things used to be like for you at home and after I'd thought about it and spoke with Mother, I realized you were scared, too. Don't be scared anymore, Jon. I'm still your girl and your girl forgives you. 

And, I'm sorry, too. Just because there's a beautiful woman up there that you're friends with I should trust you and I shouldn't have said such awful things. I shouldn’t have brought up drinking either. I know you’re not him and never want to be.

This is hard being apart this way. Whenever you finish with the Watch, I hope we can finally be together at last without all this distance between us. Physically, you're closer there than you were in Dorne but things are different. We're nearly grown and we know what we want but can't have it all just yet. It's like smelling the lemon cakes fresh out of the oven, hovering over them and being told you must wait and wait. Someday, we'll have all the lemon cakes, my love.

You're enough for me, more than enough. You've always been enough. I think you're wonderful so don't think otherwise again. I forbid it. Don't doubt your decision about the Watch. You've got so much to offer the world and you don't have to just find 'some job.' Finish your service and go to college and pursue whatever you want to do. That's what I want for us. I want us together and doing something we love. It'll be worth the wait. 

When I first wrote to you as a child, I was unaware of the lonely little boy you were. Mother must've suspected since she prompted me to write. But I know now and it breaks my heart to think of how sad you were for so long. Don't be sad anymore. I'll always be your girl. 

We're going to make some mistakes. We'll hurt each other with careless words here and there but we'll apologize and start anew. Mother says it happens and not to live in fear of it. She also says we're good at talking things out even if it's mostly in writing and that she thinks that's quite promising for such a young couple. So, I'm saying, we had a fight and it's okay. It doesn't fundamentally change anything and I'll never stop being your girl. 

All My Heart,

Sansa

P.S. Arya says to disregard the threatening letter she sent you. She threatened me as well if we didn't work things out. I think this is her idea of helping and maybe she was only half serious when she mentioned locking us both in a closet until we stopped being idiotic. Little sisters can be wonderful and wonderfully intrusive at times, can't they? But I love her and I love you. Please, come and visit again when you can and know that like you, I'll still be sending you my heart in ink every chance I get. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fingers crossed I can get the final chapter done to my satisfaction by tomorrow! Thank you for reading!
> 
> Sidebar regarding other WIPs, I plan to update After All This Time later this week and then hopefully Be My +1 next. After that, I may take a little posting hiatus during March while I work on completing three of my ongoing stories since there's two new ones I'd like to get going on :)


	4. Commencements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skips ahead as about five years pass during this chapter. Other than tying up one loose end, this is 90% fluff. I felt like they deserved it :)

Dear Jon,

Has it really been three months since graduation? When I remember it was the last time I saw you in person, I’m sure of it. It feels longer even, maybe more like three years! But in other ways, it’s been such a whirlwind getting ready for college. All the same, I miss you dearly. 

How are you and how is everything with the Watch? Is Grenn’s ankle healing up alright from that training exercise mishap? Did Pyp recover from the bump on the head? I was so scared when you told me about it and I know you say that a cracked rib and sprained wrist is not a big deal but it sounds like a horribly big deal to me. Your mother and I both agreed they should’ve given you more time to convalesce. Thank the gods no one else was seriously hurt. 

I hope everyone was able to enjoy the varieties of fudge I made for you to share as a 'get well' offering. Please, remind them it was my first solo attempt!

I’m writing today to report that I am officially settled in my dorm room and with Jeyne being my roommate I consider myself quite lucky. I’m enclosing a polaroid of us in the room (it’s quite tiny!) and a copy of my schedule so you’ll know what classes I’m talking about when I write to complain about them. 

I know White Harbor isn’t terribly far from home compared to you up at Castle Black with your mother in Dorne but I’ll admit I cried like a baby after my parents left. Mostly that was because Dad was struggling to hold it together and I simply can’t see my father sad and not want to cry, too. 

The room is small and Jeyne's not here at the moment and I'm far away from home so I have a confession to make, hoping it will cheer me. I brought all your letters with me to college. Do you think that's silly? Have you kept any from me? I couldn't bare leaving them behind. Maybe you're not surprised that I've saved them all, including your first. Maybe you are. By the way, I did use up all the dog stickers you sent on something apparently. Guess I won't need them here, do I? 

Even though I’m feeling a little blue as I write, I am looking forward to this and my classes start in three days. Would you consider coming here for school when you finish? I know you’d mentioned Winterfell U originally but I feel like this was the best fit for me with its superior psychology and counseling program as well as a great musical theater department as I waffle between my love of performing and my desire to help people. I guess I’m supposed to know what I’m going to do already but I’ve not made up my mind yet. 

Anyway, White Harbor will always be special to me wherever we end up because of those summer vacations you spent with us and the fact that we shared our first kisses here, too!

Love,

Sansa

P.S. Just writing to you cheers me up in case you didn't know that. 

**

Dear Sansa,

First of all, how could you even ask if I’d consider attending NUWH? I’ve been considering it since you first wrote to tell me you’d applied there! The question is will they consider me? My smart girl got in but can I?

Second, I am fine and the rib only troubles me with certain PT exercises. My wrist is still a little tender but thankfully it wasn't my writing hand! Grenn's doing better and I’ve told him you asked about him. Pyp's recovered and he's currently very happy considering that when he was being transported to medical he worked up the nerve to ask Val out. She laughed before agreeing and Grenn asked if she needed to have her head examined, too-haha!

I love the picture of you and Jeyne in your dorm room! Tell her hello from me and that Grenn’s already asked if she’s single. And in case she asks, he’s pitifully single and annoying so be sure to warn her off. Seriously, he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met even when he’s being a dumbass and cracking his ankle. 

Everyone loved your fudge and, while we were all a little skeptical at first, the lemon turned out to be one of the favorites after the chocolate-peanut butter which was the clear winner as it disappeared the fastest. 

Just so you know, half my unit’s in love with you and I feel like a smug bastard anytime I receive a letter from you. However some of the men here don’t get any letters at all and it makes me sad for them. 

I hate to think of you being blue when I’m not there but I can understand missing home and your parents. I miss Mum at times although I’ve been here over a year now and I know she’s happy with Dadvos. I hope you’ll enjoy your classes. Complain or rave about them, I won't mind. I promise to be more careful here and you be careful on campus especially at night. I sounded like your dad there, didn’t it? 

As for what you choose to do, there’s nothing wrong with exploring your options. You enjoy theater and you’re quite talented with all your artistic interests. I also know how much you’ve talked about going into therapy or counseling and you’d be wonderful at that. Decisions, decisions, right? It’s nice to have options. After my injury, I was speaking with the physical therapist some and maybe I’d like that but I don’t know if I could manage the course load or not.

Do I keep your letters? I do although I wasn't permitted to bring anything like that with me here. I still have that cassette of you playing piano in my things at Mum’s. Have I ever told you how many times I listened to it? I couldn't have because I lost count around a thousand. It's there at Mum's in a box along with every single letter you ever sent me in Dorne. The first few you sent, I carelessly tossed in a drawer, not really intending to save them. But in time, as the pile in the drawer grew larger and they became more precious to me than gold, I realized I wanted to keep them. I boxed them up before I left and told Mum not to throw it away ever. When I have a place of my own, I'll fetch it from her and all the letters you've sent me here will join them. How could I not keep them, my darling girl? They're part of us. 

I’ll be up for furlough in November and I’d like to come to White Harbor since it not only holds special memories for me as well but it’s where my girl is right now in her tiny dormitory room. 

Love, 

Jon

P.S. For old time's sake, I've enclosed some dog stickers and gold star ones as well. They’re hardly readily available up here but my mates are the best and they wanted to express their appreciation for the delicious fudge. You can share them with Jeyne or put them on your finished papers. Either way, I hope they make you smile.

**

Dear Jon,

Yes, come to White Harbor when you have furlough! And if Grenn would want to come along, bring him! Jeyne’s seen his picture from that first one you sent after you finished basic. She was not frightened off at all.

I have complete faith you could manage the course load if physical therapy appeals to you! I'll see if I meet anyone in that field of study and quiz them as much as you like to find out more. 

You made me cry with your words about the letters and the stickers. Jeyne thought I'd received bad news until I explained they were tears of joy. You are so sweet. Thank you and thank the others for me. 

I love you,

Sansa

P.S. Who doesn't receive letters? Give me their names. I have some ideas.

**

Dear Sansa,

I don’t know how you talked all these students into writing and offering to be pen pals with a bunch of lonely soldiers but you’ve made a lot of people happy here and you’ve only confirmed that you’re the dearest girl to ever draw breath. I love you so much and I’m so proud you’re mine.

My XO would like to meet you. Maybe you could come up next summer? I’d love to show you around (and show you off too-don’t hate me for that!). 

Love,

Jon

**

Dear Jon,

I’m very glad to hear the letters brought some cheer. My professor loved the idea and it got the student counsel all stirred up too apparently. 

I’ve heard so much about Commander Mormont and I’d love to meet him. I’ll be sure to tell him how you all call him a grumpy old bear behind his back. Just kidding! I’m certain I can come up over summer if you think it’d work out on that end. 

For now, I’m eagerly anticipating seeing you here in November!

Love, 

Sansa

* * *

Dear Jon,

I’m still processing the weekend but woke up thinking about you after dreaming about you more vividly than usual. I’ll bet you can guess why. 

I still can’t believe you and Grenn got into a fight with those creeps at the club. I do not condone violence but I’m bizarrely fixated on the memory of your one punch across that guy's jaw and the way he went down like something out of a cartoon. I’ll only say watch your temper, Soldier. Meanwhile, I promise I won't be going back there alone so don't worry so much. 

As for what happened after, I can’t believe Grenn and Jeyne got on quite that well quite so quickly either! I'm happy for them and Jeyne's always said she'd envied my pen pal romance. Maybe now she'll have her own! Meanwhile, we’re still having trouble maintaining eye contact with each other after what you and I walked in on but I have a feeling we’ll be giggling for the next month or more before long.

Love, 

Sansa 

**

Dear Sansa,

You may not condone violence but you might make a guy think differently based on what you did to me afterwards in the ladies’ room of that club. 

As for Jeyne and Grenn hitting it off so well and us walking in on them, I’m just going to be thankful that it inspired me to take you back to the motel room instead. The bed was much bigger than your dorm’s and having you to myself all night without fear of your parents catching us was everything I could want. So you can bet I’ve been dreaming about you vividly, too. Then again, that’s always the case. 

Love, 

Jon

P.S. That creep deserved that punch and if any of them bother you or Jeyne again, let me know. 

**

Dear Jon,

I will not be forgetting us having the motel room to ourselves all night nor will I forget what you did to me in it. I can't say it to Jeyne but I'm very glad I had to find another room for the night! But you can never tell a soul about the ladies' room!

Love,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

I would never tell any of it to anyone but when I close my eyes I swear I can still taste you on my tongue. I can picture you blushing as I write that which makes it well worth writing and no less true. I’m also going to remember that weekend with a smile on my face till the day that I die.

Love,

Jon

* * *

Dear Sansa,

  
Thank you for listening to me last night. I’m sorry for unloading all that on you when you probably needed to be studying or something. I’ll have my head together at the funeral maybe. I’m looking forward to showing you Dorne at last even if the occasion is an unfortunate one. 

After Mum called, my thoughts were all scattered and emotions I didn’t expect kept surprising me. In short, I was a mess. I suppose that’s not surprising considering. How else does a person react when their estranged alcoholic father winds up driving into a river? I guess I’ll be left wondering the rest of my days if it was done intentionally or not. I’m grateful no one else was hurt at least. 

He tried sometimes but he wasn’t good to us. He was a drunk. He let me down more times than I can count. He mistreated us a few times, too. He was still my father. I thought I’d written him off but these things are complicated, aren’t they? When I think of him, I can’t help but worry over what kind of father I’ll be. I know you want kids. I do, too. But then I think of Rhaegar and I don’t know. I guess I’m still a mess today. 

But what I wanted to tell you today, the thing that gave me some measure of hope, is that my first instinct when I got her call wasn’t to go get drunk like some of my mates suggested. It was to write to you, my love. I decided to call instead when Mormont said I could use his phone (he thinks the world of you-who can blame him?-and I'm sure that's why he offered). It was a comfort hearing your voice last night but I still wanted to write today. I’m always going to want to write you letters, I guess. 

  
All My Love,  


Jon

  
**

Dear Sansa,

I thought I'd write you a little note today to tell you how much I look forward to seeing you in a few day for the first time since you were quite a young girl despite the sad occasion. I know we've not seen each other in years but you occupy quite a large section of my heart for the way you've been there for my son throughout the years. Thank you for that. Thank you for being his friend and for loving him so selflessly. Naturally, I want nothing but the best for him and I could ask for no one better than you. 

Losing a parent is never easy and while Jon may not mourn Rhaegar the same way a son might mourn a beloved father who he'd had a healthy relationship with, he'll mourn all the same and knowing you'll be here with him is such comfort.

Jon says you're interested in counseling and I honestly couldn't think of a young person better suited to such a calling. Davos agrees with me. Whatever you choose to do, just know that I'll always support you and think you're amazing, sweet girl. 

And in case you've ever wondered, I very much hope to call you my daughter some day.

Love,

Lyanna Seaworth

**

Dear Jon,  


How are you? I know we had a lovely afternoon at the beach before our flight left from Dorne but I’m still anxious for your feelings now that the funeral is done. 

I'm glad you were able to spend time with your mother and Davos while we were there. I hope in time you’ll find some measure of closure. The memories, both good and bad, make up who we become, Dad says. I know your father has mostly cast shadows in your life but I hope there’s some sunlight to be found in the corners at least. Your mother is right though. You’re not him. I meant what I said, too. You'll make a wonderful father someday when we're ready. His mistakes are not your mistakes. We all have elements of our parents in us but we're our own person, too. Just remember that. 

In less somber news, I have a confession. Yes, you kept warning me but please don't chide me over the sunscreen I failed to reapply when I admit that my sunburn made my trip back to White Harbor utter hell. It's impossible to get comfortable when clothes itch and irritate and you'd rather be naked, sitting in front of a fan and slathered in aloe. 

Love, 

  
Sansa

P.S. Your mother sent me the most lovely letter which I didn't receive until I returned here. I'm going to try and call her later to thank her for it or maybe I'll just write. Maybe I'll write my mother too while I'm at it. Written correspondence is more than a good way to practice one's cursive after all. 

  
**  


Dear Sansa,  


Thank you for all your comfort and support but I'm sort of stuck on the image of you naked and slathered in aloe at the moment. I'd gladly go AWOL if you like to apply the aloe and gently blow on it. I'll bet you nipples would pebble so perfectly when I did.

But my lustful thoughts aside, I’m taking your words to heart as always. 

What did Mum write? If it was something mortifying about me as a kid, don't tell me!

My last watch will be coming up six months from now before I’ll be discharged. It’s not much but there’s typically a small ceremony to follow for those who aren’t re-upping their service. Family and friends can come but it’s not expected. It’s awfully far, too far for Mum to fly, but would you want to come? I’d love to show you off again.

Love,

  
Jon

P.S. Grenn’s not re-upping either but I think he’s a little shy about asking if Jeyne would come so far for such a little thing. Do you think she’d come if you do? I know it’d mean a lot to him.

  
**  


Dear Jon,

As if you even have to ask! Of course, I’ll come. School won’t start back until September. I can’t wait for us to be there together at last. I’m so proud of you getting in! And, I’ll gladly drive to Castle Black for your last watch and I’ll bring Jeyne as well. We’d love to see you both!

Love,

Sansa 

P.S. You're quite scandalous with your talk of aloe, you wicked man. Just you wait until I get you alone up there. There's bound to be a convenient broom closet or something. Jeyne and Grenn owe us a diversion at the very least, don't they? 

* * *

Dear Sansa,

I'll likely be a weepy mess tomorrow so I'm putting this in writing and going to hand it to you at breakfast. 

Congratulations on your commencement! It's a great achievement and we're so proud of you, darling! You're going to be an amazing counselor and I know you'll be helping so many people. Nothing could make me or your father prouder. And of course, like you said, you can always audition for the local theater company when you feel inclined to act or sing.

I'll admit I'm rather sad that you have no immediate plans to return to Winterfell but I understand your reasons. Jon is there and opportunities are there and it's not so far really. Just prepare for lots of visits from your father and I as we grow older. 

As a graduation gift, we've set aside some money to start you off. I know you'll say you didn't expect it or it's too much but we can do this for you and Jon and we want to do it so please just say thank you and take it when your father presses a check into your hands tomorrow. Poor man will likely be struggling not to bawl his eyes out as it is.

Once you and Jon go apartment hunting and settle into your first place together, I hope you'll be as happy as your dad and I were when we were as young as you. I'm sure you'll miss living with Jeyne in a way but not the tiny dorm. This is the next step for you both and it will be an adjustment living together all the time. Have patience with each other and take a deep breath or two before you speak in anger. Or write it down first maybe and see if it's really worth saying. 

Any idea what Jon might be getting you as a graduation gift?

Love,

Mother

**

Dear Lyanna,

He proposed! I wish you could've been there with us at the little dinner party Ned and I hosted to celebrate Sansa's graduation tonight but Jon admitted he'd called you last week and told you what he was planning! How could you have not told me when we spoke last night??? No matter. We're going to share our grandchildren someday and that will be enough joy for me. 

Just so you know, it was the sweetest thing. Everyone was stunned, including Sansa, but delighted when he asked to raise a toast to the graduate and then pulled out the loveliest ring and got down on one knee. Sansa cried. I cried. Maybe everyone cried. I can't be sure! I'd already put on waterproof mascara this morning so at least I don't look like a raccoon in the pictures we took afterwards. I've enclosed one of the happy couple.

I know they're young to marry but our children have waited so long for each other. At least, they've had these two years of attending the same school and dating and spending all the free time they can spare growing closer in ways even their letters couldn't manage. I'm so happy for them as I know you are. 

They are planning to wait to wed until Jon is closer to finishing his physical therapy degree so we have plenty of time to plot the enormous wedding of ~~our~~ Sansa's dreams!

With Much Affection,

Catelyn 

**

Dear Catelyn,

Oh, yes! Let's help the kids plan a wedding! That will be amazing. I didn't have much of one as I think I've mentioned before since Jon was already well on the way when I married Rhaegar. I would love for it to be a truly magical day for ~~us~~ them.

I was dying to tell you when we spoke but I promised Jon it would be his surprise! He was so nervous about picking the ring without any help. Actually, he took Grenn shopping with him but said he was no help-haha!

I'm so happy for them both and wish I could've been there! I'm going to be there though. Davos is retiring from his practice next year and he says he'd be content to move back North again. As you know, I was able to stop working last year so there will be nothing left to hold me here in Dorne. I've wanted to come home for so long but money was an issue even after Rhaegar was not and then I hated to ask Davos to transfer his practice so soon after setting up shop here. So I'll be there somewhere near our kids and looking forward to sharing those grandkids with you!

Love,

Lyanna

* * *

Dear Darling First Apartment (with the Lovely View of the Harbor),

My fiancé thinks I've lost my mind to write a letter to you (he's literally doubled over on the sofa our friends helped us carry up two flights of steps earlier laughing at the moment) and maybe he's right but you're going to be our first home together so I have a few things to tell you.

You're a beautiful apartment with lemon yellow walls in the kitchen and I knew you were it when I laid eyes on those. I love our view of the harbor from your balcony even if we have to lean over the railing a bit and peer around the seafood packaging factory to see it (and hold our noses-I'm sure we'll get used to the smell of fish in time). 

Your bathroom could have a bit more counterspace to be honest but Necessity is the mother of Invention and Jon says he'll come up with something that makes cohabitation in there possible. He's quite handy, another example that his time with the Watch was well worth it.

But your bedroom is perfect, a lovely calming shade of blue and I'm looking forward to many lazy mornings of lying in on the weekends. And thankfully, unlike our dorm rooms of old it's big enough for the king-sized bed Jon promises he's going to drive me wild in every single night. I can't wait to break it in once it's delivered next week. The store did say it would be here today but they lied. It's alright though. I'll forgive them. We have a sofa and a table and chairs in our little dining area by the kitchen and we're going to order take-away tonight and share a bottle of wine to celebrate. We'll raise a toast to you while we're at it no matter how much some funny guy might laugh at that. 

Oh, I was forgetting to introduce myself. My name is Sansa and Jon and I will be living here for the next year until our wedding next summer. Actually, we'll probably live here two years and then maybe we'll find ourselves a little house and let some other lovely people come and live in you. Don't be sad when we leave though. We're going to love you while we're here and you'll always be our First Apartment and that's a very special thing, isn't it? 

Jon is my fiancé, my best friend, my lover and my sweetheart. He started off as my pen pal though before we fell in love. 

We weren't strangers when we became pen pals and yet we were in way. I remember a sweet boy, rather more quiet than my older brother and certainly more quiet than my sister, who would occasionally listen to me prattle when I was little about my dolls or storybooks and never said anything mean about it. He moved to Dorne when he was 11 though and that's when we became pen pals. I think I fell a little bit in love with him the day he answered my first letter and sent me a pack of dog stickers. 

Anyway, many years have passed since then and we've both grown up after sharing our hurts and fears along with our joys and triumphs via letters along the way. 

I just finished college and will be starting my first job as a counselor for teens in a couple of weeks. I may return to college in a few years to pursue some more education and a higher degree but this is where my heart lies for now, helping young people who are struggling and need an ear to bend. 

Jon is working towards finishing his degree in physical therapy. He's going to be brilliant at it. During his time with the Nights Watch, he developed an interest in helping around the medical center after two of his friends were injured. He says he'd always considered himself too impatient by nature for something like this where patience is a must. He was mistaken though. He has plenty of patience when it comes to things that matter to him and helping others matters a lot to Jon. Yes, I'm completely biased when it comes to him but I am also right. 

So, that's us and we're looking forward to settling in. We'll probably be getting ourselves a dog or two in the coming months so fair warning. I promise we'll be diligent about taking them for walks and keeping them from growing bored enough to chew on curtains or whatever and cleaning up the messes that inevitably occur. Hopefully, you won't mind too much. We've always loved our dogs. 

Yours Truly,

Sansa

**

Dear First Apartment,

I am writing because she wants me to and I'll do pretty much anything she asks of me, especially once that bed arrives next week. 

I just got an eyeroll for that.

I am looking forward to this first home with my beautiful fiancée who I love more than anything else in the world. 

If something happens to my girl while she's trying to lean over that rusty railing on your balcony to squint at that sliver of the harbor we can see from here, I'll blow you to smithereens. 

I got a shove for that but no one hurts my girl on my watch. You have been warned.

Actually, the thought of that railing giving way makes my heart lurch something awful now. No more looking at the harbor from your balcony until the landlord fixes that railing to my satisfaction. Or I'll just do it myself. 

I got a kiss for that. I'm improving then.

In all seriousness, I so excited to be here. No offense to Jeyne or my dormmate but trying to have time alone there was frustrating to the extreme at times and I jealously want Sansa all to myself as much as I can manage between work and classes after years of only having her via letters for the most part. Not that it was horrible having her via letters. In fact, it was wonderful in many ways. 

By the way, I'm quite angry at that store for the delay delivering our bed. Any suggestions for our future furniture shopping? You're bound to have seen plenty of furniture here over the years. 

I'm making a hash of this and Sansa's laughing her ass off. It's quite irresistible really. Her laughter, I mean. Not her ass. Okay, that's damn irresistible, too. Too bad we're still waiting on the bed. She's right though. Necessity is indeed the mother of invention and it's time to break in the sofa, I believe. Maybe we'll try out your shower, too.

Which brings me to the final part of my correspondence (such a big word!-oh, I got smacked for that or maybe the section above), apologies in advance if you prefer things quiet. We like peace and quiet, too. I'm not fond of shouting or yelling for reasons I won't write about here but we're going to be loud at times, I'm sure. Sometimes we might argue and sometimes we might cry but mostly I plan on happy noises here. I want to make her laugh as much as possible. I also like making her moan and whimper and scream my name on a daily basis at the very least so you may want to give our neighbors a heads up. Your walls aren't the thickest. 

Sincerely,

Jon

P.S. Our dogs will be the best dogs so you're going to love them. And that reminds me of that railing again. I'm getting to work at once on it...right after we break in the sofa. 

* * *

Dear Jon,

I'm sitting in front of this vanity and I just put my necklace on. Arya was such a dear to go fetch it for me. I can't believe I left it at home but today has been chaos getting ready as you can imagine. How did our wedding get this enormous? I think there's more people here than I've ever even met. Our mothers really shouldn't be allowed to collude anymore, should they? It's alright though. It will be beautiful.

Anyway, I'm looking at the necklace and thinking of you. It still makes me smile every time I look at it, the first gift you gave me after we became sweethearts. 

My hair is styled and my makeup is done. I'm waiting for Mother to help me finish buttoning up my gown before the photographer comes and what do I want to do? I want to write to you. I'm going to ask Jeyne to pass this to Grenn and he'll pass it to you so you'll have it before the ceremony.

I couldn't let this day pass without a letter to mark the occasion. It can join all the others in the hope chest at the foot of our bed where it should be safe from the dogs and their curiosity, let us hope! 

It's just a few words really, nothing grand, but they are words from my heart all the same. 

Today, I marry you. In front of all our friends and family, we'll exchange vows and our parents will cry. Will Dadvos cry the hardest? Possibly. 

Soon, you will be my husband and I will be your wife and in time we'll raise a family of our own together. I cannot wait for this next phase of our lives to begin. 

I know there's no need for me to post letters to you anymore because you'll be there to share it with me, every step of the way.

But I think, if you don't mind, I'll keep writing to you all the same from time to time. I'm rather fond of it.

Love Always,

Sansa

**

Dear Sansa,

Grenn spilled bacon grease on his tux. Don't ask how, it's Grenn. More importantly, don't panic. Mum and Jeyne are fixing him up and our wedding will be perfectly imperfect. It is ridiculously enormous but they are happy over it and we'll survive. Honestly, I don't care about all the guests and hubbub so long as I'm married to you at the end of the day. Dadvos is already sniffling but at least he doesn't have bacon grease on his tux. 

So, Robb delivered your letter along with some words about me being his brother for true now which made me rather teary. I told him to stop it because I already expect I'll be fighting a losing battle with the lump in my throat when I see your father walking you down the aisle. I cannot wait to see you in that dress that needs buttoning up. I'm also looking forward to unbuttoning it for you later. Don't let anyone else take your hair down either after the ceremony. That's my job, too. 

But this occasion certainly calls for a letter in response to yours.

Today, I marry you. You'll be my wife and the mother of my children someday, I pray. You'll be my heart and soul but then you've held that title for quite a number of years already. I can't wait to begin either. 

I will still look forward to your letters. You'll still be receiving my inkblots and shoddy cursive as well because I'm never going to want to stop writing to you. I'm quite fond of it, too. 

But I think what I am looking forward to as we continue writing our letters is that we'll be exchanging them in person, reading them over breakfast or snuggled together under the covers or whatever, knowing that when I reach the end, I only need to look up to see your smile. And I'll reach for my wife's hand across the sheets or the table and hold it in mine. That will be the best part. That and occasionally I'll include some stickers for you.

All My Love,

Jon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was fun trying something like this story. Even though the format kept me from sharing every bit of what happened to them over the years and robbed me of writing dialogue which is my favorite thing to write, I became quite attached to writing these letters. And, I really appreciate all the lovely support. Thank you :)


End file.
